So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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