So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
