kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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