Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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