First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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