We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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