He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
