She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
