He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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