did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
