? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
