im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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