just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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