she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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