Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I didn't notice because vodka
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm sobbing to NWA
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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