i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
