Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Floor bacon is actually really good
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
