hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
