mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize