Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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