I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
