Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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