Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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