hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
