Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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