I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
