haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
