About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
bring money and cleavage
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
