i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
