thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
