tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
