I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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