As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
there is glitter all over my balls
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