Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
