Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
