this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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