It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
