she was so not down for the gang bang
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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