I can feel you judging me through the phone.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
