Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
