Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
