so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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