Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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