Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
