I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
