SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
