Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
