sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
