when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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