Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
