Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
