i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Is Oprah even human
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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