You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The feeling are messing with the penis
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
