the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
