I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
