New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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