i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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