I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The Olympian is in my bed
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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