I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize