I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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