Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
