You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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