11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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